Some single Christians have no problems attracting a man or woman to date. Especially when using an online dating service like eHarmony.  However, attracting the right man or woman to date is often a separate issue. By the right man or woman to date, we mean that special person with whom you may wish to spend the rest of your life.  Your soul mate. Since you only marry a man or woman you date, it’s important to get it right. Right?

There are several practical steps we can take in order to attract the right kind of man or woman to date.


Seek the Lord in Prayer

Yeah, I know we heard this all before, but really, God will hear your prayers, and provide for all of your needs (Phil. 4:19). I know some single Christians are frustrated because they have been praying for a mate, and nothing tangible has been happening. But please don’t give up hope for that special man or woman to date.

The Scriptures state that at just the right time God sent forth His son to save us. (Gal. 4:4). So, if God the Father gave us Jesus, will he not graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32). The answer to that question is a resounding YES! In the meantime, wait on God, and learn to have contentment as a single person.

Love (Accept) Yourself

Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves. The bottom line is we can’t love others the way God wants (including your our date or mate) until we love ourselves.

Loving yourself has little to do with self-esteem, but all to do with “God-esteem.” What do I mean by that? It means looking at yourself the way God sees you. He says you were wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalms 139), and He thought well enough of you to die for your sins while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

So here’s my question for you? Can you love and accept yourself as God loves and accepts you, warts and all? If you do, this is a very atttractive quality to the opposite sex. If you can’t accept yourself, potential dates will most likely be turned off as well.

Be the Real You

This means letting others see the real you, not the man or woman you think they want you to be. The reason you should just be yourself is that you want your date to want you just for being you. That way there’s no pressure to keep putting on an act. By the way, keep this in mind if you are writing an online dating profile. Remember, changing yourself to meet your date’s or mate’s criteria is not only stressful and dishonest, but it’s also a surefire way to doom a relationship.

Set Level Expectations

It’s good to make a list (with the help of family and friends who know you best) of the qualities you are looking for in a man or woman date, but just be realistic. I know many Christian singles who have remained single and lonely because they could never find anyone “good enough” for them. Do you get the picture?

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection and Failure

The God you and I serve calls us to take faith-filled risks. Don’t allow fears to rule over your life. Trust Him to guide you in this area of your life, because you will never meet the right man or woman to date unless you take a chance by becoming vulnerable. Remember that most people, whether they are on a blind date or in a courtship relationship, have faced rejection at one time or another. The key is to trust God with your fears.

Are you a Christian single with thoughts to share on attracting to the right man or woman to date?

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